For a long time I’ve been using green, patio rocks glasses.  They’re big (which means less refills) but they’re also pretty cheesy looking.  I was cruising Canadian Tire, having just finished a paying job, and spotted some plain but heavy old fashioneds for about $8.  While it was more than Value Village wanted, they were perfect.  I scooped them and brought them home, proud as punch.

Arriving home I unpacked them, washed them, and put them to the test.  Perfect.  Or so I thought.

My wife noticed the glasses and wrinkled her nose.  Bad sign.  I had anticipated this reaction and kept the receipt but I was going to talk my way out of it, or so I thought.  She thought they looked cheap.  I countered, “simple.”  She countered “cheap.”  Ouch – not going well.  She said that if I didn’t like the green patio glasses that I could use the crystal rocks glasses.  Now we’re getting somewhere.

The pattern is called “Pinwheel.”  Not exactly simple.  I said I would give them a try.  I dropped the first three ice cubes in the glass and they made a very loud, very any-harder-and-they-would-break type of noise.  I got the look.  I said, “if you want me to use them, this is how they’re going to be used.”  Amazingly that passed for logic.

So now my drinks are sipped from crystal.  It’s fancier than I’d like.  I have to refill more often than I’d like.  I have to be more cautious than I’d like.  But I have a happy wife, which I like.  In a world of compromise I would say that this is one that I can happily live with.

Below is a picture of the three glasses.  I’m sure you can pick them out but consider that one glass is cost $0.99 for 4, one cost $8 for 4, and one cost $8 (and I had to ask if it could go in the dishwasher!).  I think I know which one Deano would use.

Our first dilema was whether to run in or drive-through.  Looking at the lineup in the drive-through I decided that running in would be quicker.  As I was parking I noticed that the line inside the place was to the front doors – drive-through it is.

There were about 5 cars ahead of us in line which, at my normal Tim’s in Belleville on Cannifton and College, should take about 5-6 minutes.  I knew we were in trouble when we didn’t move at all in 5 minutes.  When we finally got to the ordering wicket the conversation went as follows:

“Do you serve English Toffee?”  (I have to ask because not every location does, for some reason.)
“No, we don’t.”
“OK, a large French Vanilla will be fine then.”
“Actually, we’re out of cappuccinos.” (Now I’m annoyed because you shouldn’t be out of anything at a Tim Horton’s.  Period.  I’m now not getting anything for myself because I’m P-O’d.)
“Fine.  A large double cream, one sugar, a peach juice and a blueberry doughnut.” (I meant the one that was on the big poster by the ordering window since it’s a featured product.)
“OK, $4.12.”  (This is when my wife guesses that we’ll get the wrong type of doughnut.)
We get to the window and I check the doughnut.  Sure enough, it’s some kind of glazed blueberry thing.
“I’m sorry, I wanted the blueberry doughnut you have on the poster by the ordering window.”
“Oh, you mean a blueberry jam filled doughnut?”
“No.” (My wife then remembers they’re called ‘blooms’ and calls it out.) “A blueberry bloom.”
“We’re all out of those.”
“Ok, fine, a strawberry bloom then.”
“We don’t have any of the blooms left.” (WTF? Now I’m just plain mad.)
“Ok, fine, any blueberry filled doughnut then.” (We’ve now been at the window for a good 5-7 minutes.)
She goes to get the doughnut and is clearly not having fun, has no helpers, and will not receive anything close to something resembling a tip.  I take the doughnut and decide that it is the last time I ever visit that location.  I’ve tried, several times, to be patient at this location but I’ve had enough.  And I’m a patient guy.

I feel bad for the girl at the window.  I’m sure she hates having no help and not having any product to deliver.  At the same time, a little help when I’m ordering would have gone a long way to soothe the pain (when I asked for an E.T. she could have then told me they had no cappuccinos instead of making me go down the list).  Let this be a lesson to customer service reps everywhere, there’s always a chance to save the sale.  A smile and a kind word do wonders.  Up until the doughnut I was still a possible “be-back.”  Not anymore.

If you’re from Tim Horton’s and reading this, that Nobel location has been a disgrace for several years and while I’ve only been there maybe twice a year it has consistently underperformed.  They’ve lost sales from me, screwed up orders, been short of stock, and been quite simply too slow for the brand Canadians have come to know, love and trust.  Do something.

Before moving my pawn into F4:

After moving my pawn and before the computer’s retaliation:

Now here’s where the computer cheats.  Pawns may only take pieces moving diagonally and here he takes my pawn, sitting in F4, by moving to F3!  Even if it was checkers this jump wouldn’t count for anything.

No more Chess for me.  The game’s hard enough without the computer cheating to beat me.  Good night, Irene.

The past month has seen me busier than ever before.  I expanded my business to include my favourite hobby, home theatre and movies in general, and wouldn’t you know it, my web business blows up.  I’ve released 2 sites already this month and will have another 3 before the July page flips to August.  While it puts stress on the home life, the nature of the beast is such that you must strike while the iron is hot.

Since my biggest project of 2009 so far has now gone gold with only minor updates remaining (niagaragreenbelt.com) I feel it’s time to update the site.

To date I’ve partnered with great creatives like Brock, Rene, Aron and Gabriel and the work seems to be flowing nicely.  The even better news is that I’m very busy at Sears Canada and the work there seems to be rounding me out.  Not only can I code your front end website but I have the ability to do the dirty, SQL back end too.

Let me just close by saying that 3G has finally arrived in Belleville, but it hasn’t reached into Prince Edward County.  Typing on an iPod Touch is not as easy as it is on the Blackberry, and that isn’t easy in the first place (with chubby digits).  I’m now trying to Tweet as much as makes sense but I’m still not paying enough attention to my LinkedIn account.  I still love my PS3 but even more so now that I’m streaming iTunes from my Macbook.  And lastly, why hasn’t Adam Sandler been making kids’ movies all along?

Oh yeah, and I’m an uncle again!  Congrats to my sister Maija, brudder Jonny, niece Lexi and only nephew Jonah Watson Goward (7lbs 5oz).

Gary essentially begged the audience to quit doing work that they hate.  He asked them to figure out what it is that they really like to do and do it.  Make that the foundation and then figure out how to make money from it.  That said, I’ll be launching a new site in the next couple of months.  Fingers crossed…

My list of upcoming movies that I’d like to see, based on trailers I watched tonight.  (Told you it was going to be fluff.)

• Che – Not that you can believe everything you see from Hollywood but a movie about the history of the Cuban revolution is something I’m interested in.
• Adventureland – Bill Hader is good in everything and Kristen Wiig just cracks me up.
• 9 – Looks like a cool mix of Tim Burton weirdness (even though he’s just the producer) and action and a neat story.  Great voice actors, too.  The director did 300 so it’s got some pedigree.
• Good – Wow.  This Viggo Mortensen flick about a professor who gets drawn into the Nazi party is right up my alley.  A thinker that makes you ask the question, what would I do?  How can good people go so wrong?
• Astroboy – I watched the cartoon when I was a kid.  I’ll rent this one.  Guilty pleasure.
• Watchmen – The special effects in the trailer look incredible.  I know nothing about the back history but it looks like you don’t need to.
• I Love You Man – Paul Rudd is one of the funniest actors going.  There truly isn’t a role I haven’t loved him in.  He plays a guy who has never really had a guy friend and he sets about trying to find one.  Has Andy Samberg as Rudd’s brother and Rashida Jones, of The Office fame, as his bride-to-be.
• The Wrestler – Looks sad but good.  People think Mickey Rourke might win an Oscar for this one.
• Yonkers Joe – A gambling/con movie with heart.  I welled up watching the trailer.  You just know something awful is going to happen.  Joe is trying to win enough money to send his Down syndrome son to a good school, but he’s going to do it by stealing from Vegas.
• Duplicity – A heist movie that looks like Mr. and Mrs. Smith without the guns.  I like Clive Owen enough to overlook Julia Roberts.
• Seven Pounds – Will Smith could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.  He sold me as an actor after Six Degrees of Separation.  I have no idea what the movie’s about but it’s intriguing.
• Knowing – Although I’m not really a Nicolas Cage fan, the trailer for Knowing creeps me out and excites me at the same time.  His son uncovers a 50 year old letter that has the dates and body counts of every natural disaster from the past, and some from the future.  Hilarity ensues.  Just kidding.  It actually moves into end-of-the-world aliens/gods territory after that, in a Sixth Sense sort of way.  Awesome.
• Terminator: Salvation – If anyone can reboot a franchise it’s Christian Bale, as he’s already proven with Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.  But really, if you’ve seen the previous 3 Terminators, are you going to skip the 4th?  Didn’t think so.
• The Proposal – Total date movie but it’s got Ryan Reynolds in it.  Like Clive Owen over Julia Roberts, I’ll see this one for Reynolds over Sandra Bullock.  A witch of a boss is forced to marry her whipped assistant when she finds out she’s being deported (back to Canada).  There’s just something wrong with the whole Canada angle but I’ll overlook it.  (Perhaps Reynolds should have coached Bullock a little on being Canadian.  We would never say, “but I’m from Canada!”  We’d surely say, “but I’m Canadian!”)
• He’s Just Not That Into You – Another date movie about, well, modern day dating.  This movie features a few people I really like in movies such as Scarlett Johansson, Bradley Cooper, Justin Long, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Ginnifer Goodwin, Jennifer Connelly and Drew Barrymore.
• X-Men Origins: Wolverine – My only complaint about this movie is that it seems like it might be overloaded with cool characters.  I felt like that was what dragged down the original set of X-Men movies and others like Spider Man.  Wolverine is cool enough on his own to carry a movie.  We don’t need 7 baddies to keep us interested.  I thought Iron Man did such a great job of keeping it simple.  Amazingly, Ryan Reynolds features again.  He’s my favourite actor right now so that is just more goodness for me.  Liev Schreiber looks completely badass in the trailer and, despite my trepidations, I really can’t wait to see this one.
• All About Steve – Sandra Bullock again?  This date movie has Thomas Haden Church and Bradley Cooper in it so that makes it ok for it to be on the list.  Bullock follows Cooper across the country thinking they’re meant to be together.  Hilarity ensues.  Maybe.  I’m sure I’ll have a couple of laughs though.  Sometimes that’s enough.
• Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun Li – Strictly a wire fu filler.  When you’re testosterone level is a little low, like after watching a Sandra Bullock movie, just watch some wire fu.  It’ll have you topped up in no time.  Let’s hope this one is better than the terrible first try at the Street Fighter franchise featuring Jean-Claude Van Damme.  Just terrible.
• Year One – Michael Cera and Jack Black is a bit of an odd combination but Cera’s uncomfortable nerd seems to mesh well with Black’s over the top crazy man in the trailer.  This one may be best viewed in the company of like-minded viewers.  People who liked Nacho Libre or Superbad.
• Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – Some people I know won’t have anything to do with a Michael Bay film.  All I can say is that, except for Mojo the dog whizzing on Ironhide’s foot, I absolutely loved the first Transformers movie.  The special effects were truly amazing.  I expect more of the same – pure popcorn fun.
• G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra – Seems like I’ve hit a few movies with colons in the titles.  That might tip my hat a bit to the type of movies I’m apt to pay money to see.  Truthfully, I had no interest in a live-action G.I. Joe adaptation, until I saw the trailer.  I love the direction they’ve gone and again, the special effects look incredible.  I’m nervous about Marlon Wayans in an action role, but I might have said the same about Jamie Foxx before I saw Collateral.  I’ll give him a chance.
• Land of the Lost - I’m all for actors branching out and trying something a bit new (see my Jamie Foxx comment above, and I also loved Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder).  I am worried that this Will Ferrell movie won’t be Will Ferrelly enough though.  We’re pretty used to “non-stop laughfest”s from Ferrell and Land of the Lost appears to have a significant CG component.  Ferrell and his crew stumble into a world with dinosaurs etc.  Hilarity ensues.  Danny McBride, of Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express fame shows up in this so that bumps the movie up my list.
• Crank 2 – Jason Statham seems to only play one character these days: the super tough everyman.  Like a British Bruce Willis in his prime, if Bruce Willis had been an MMA champ.  I caught myself enjoying the first in the series, appropriately named Crank, so I can only guess this one will be more of the same.  The trailer certainly points that way.  Amy Smart was excellent in the first one but I don’t know how they’ll top the sex scene at the newstand in front of a school bus.  The MacGuffin in the first movie was that Statham had been drugged and his heart was going to explode very shortly (just enough time to exact his revenge it turns out).  In this one the MacGuffin is that his heart has actually been replaced by a cheap artificial version which will hopefully last long enough for him to find his real heart and get it put back into his chest (oh, and exact his revenge).  A sequel was inevitable after the original more than doubled its money.  If nothing else, see this one for Statham’s character’s name: Chev Chelios.  Awesome.

Well, that’s it.  I got a little carried away and wrote way more than I intended.  Hopefully you made it this far and dug what I had to say.  If you did, leave me a comment with your 2009 movie list.  If you didn’t, leave me a comment and tell my why my list is terrible.

Cheers everyone!

J

This weekend was a highlight for me as I got to watch my daughter ‘perform’ in her first figure skating gala.  Since this is her first year her performance was little more than some shuffling of a hula and some circle skating but it was clear to see that she has a knack for the spotlight.  We were also treated to some fantastic displays of showmanship from Peter O’Brien, Shawn Sawyer, and Joannie Rochette.  Suffice it to say that I was impressed with the production quality of the show.  I did feel bad for Joannie and Shawn being put on the spot to comment about the Olympic torch coming to Prince Edward County (they both handled the task admirably).  Oh yeah, and the attendance?  Packed house for both shows.  Great job everyone.

On Sunday I took my Ella to the Sears family Christmas party.  It’s an annual event that Sears puts on for its employees and it reaffirms the reason why I stay here.  While the pay could be better (who doesn’t complain about their pay?) the effort to please the employees is stellar.  My Ella received a gift, was entertained for the morning, watched a movie and played her heart out.  She is already looking forward to next year’s events (there’s a summer party, too).

To top it all off, this morning in the drive-through at Tim Horton’s I was attacked with a random act of kindness.  The woman in front of me must have liked my singing along to the radio because she anonymously paid for my breakfast.  This is the second or third time I’ve received this kind of RAoK and I’ve given it twice and it amazes me each time the rush and the joy it brings to both parties.  If you get a chance, and are feeling adventurous, give it a try.  You’ll spend the rest of the day wondering about the person behind you and how you’ve surprised them.  It puts a smile on your face the whole day through.

Oh yeah, and I saw the Dark Knight on the weekend.  One word – wow.  I’ll never forget the image of Heath Ledger in the nurse’s outfit walking away from the hospital.  Scary.  And the lip-smacking.  Agh!  Ultra creepy.

PS – The happy faces?  Those are the results from the Acid Test 2 in IE 7 (the first image) and Chrome (the second).  What are the good people at Microsoft doing?

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting
Texas:

  Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding
  Famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili
  cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the
  original person called in sick at the last moment, and I
  happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking
  directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was
  assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the
  chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides they told
  me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.

  Here are the scorecards from the event:

  Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
  JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
  FRANK: Holy smokes, what the hell is this stuff? You could
  remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took two beers
  to put the flames out. Hope that’s the worst one. These hicks
  are crazy.

  Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner Chili
  JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight
  Jalapeno tang.
  JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor needs more peppers to be
  taken seriously.
  FRANK: Shit! Keep this away from the children! I’m not sure
  what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave
  off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich
  maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line.

  Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
  JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more
  beans.
  JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red
  peppers.
  FRANK: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA; I’ve located a
  uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.
  Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I
  could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the
  back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.

  Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black Magic
  JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice.  Disappointing.
  JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
  fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
  FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
  unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with
  fresh refills to save me the run.

  Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip Remover
  JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
  adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
  JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato.
  Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
  FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can’t focus my eyes. I farted
  and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant
  seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain
  damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it.
  Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to
  stop screaming.

  Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
  JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance
  of spice and peppers.
  JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
  garlic. Superb.
  FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous
  flames No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally.

  Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
  peppers.
  JUDGE TWO: Very Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned
  chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried
  about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress.
  FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth and pull the pin,
  and I wouldn’t feel it. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the
  world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are
  covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at
  some point. Thank God! At autopsy they’ll know what killed me.
  Have decided to stop breathing, too painful, not getting any
  oxygen anyway.

  Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe
  for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
  JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither
  mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge
  Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
  FRANK: ——- (editor’s note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

It’s funny how certain tunes will stick in your head while others seem to pass right through.  Another tune that is impossible to exercise from memory is the theme to Robot Chicken (“bock bock bock, bock bock bock, bock bock bocka bocka bock bock bock”).  Once you hear it you end up repeating it until you’re mad at yourself for singing it yet again.

That’s the kind of impact you just can’t make visually.  Sometimes a pleasing visual memory can be triggered but it doesn’t replay over and over throughout the day.  It’s a wonder that more websites don’t use sound to try to brand themselves.  But then again, I guess you don’t want the sound of two guys imitating chickens blaring over your speakers at the office – might get you fired.  Now get back to work.

I find it so interesting to hear other peoples’ stories of where they were and what they did so here’s mine.

On September 11, 2001 I was working at Atomic Energy of Canada Limited in Mississauga.  I was listening to Howard Stern on my commute to Toronto from Belleville when he started talking about a plane crashing into the WTC tower.  In my mind it was a little two or four seater and an interesting news story but when Howard, all of a sudden, started going crazy about a second plane crashing into the other tower I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I was an avid Stern fan at the time so it took me a while to realize that he was serious, especially since no one on any other radio station was saying anything about the crashes.  When I realized it was serious and that these weren’t accidents it actually made me angry that the other stations were continuing to gleefully play music, either ignorant or in denial of what was going on.  Of course, had they come on and said that terrorist attacks were taking place all over American skies, the chaos may have been worse.

Instead of going to work I drove straight past the office and went to East Side Mario’s (a restaurant/bar) because I knew they’d have televisions (and I was sufficiently late for work that the place would be open).  I was still struck by how little people seemed to be reacting to the attacks.  It wasn’t until the first tower collapsed that people really stopped what they were doing and took notice.

I didn’t ever end up at work that day.  My boss was annoyed but understood.  I spent the day in the company of strangers, worried about my friends in the States, and very confused about the future.  I can’t say the future is any more clear now but I do hold my friends closer.

My heart goes out to all of the families of the victims of the attacks, as well as to anyone else who has lost a loved one too soon.

By the way, I know they’re rebuilding but I think the two lights beaming to the heavens are a moving and striking sight to behold.  You really can’t see them and not stop to take it all in.