BIDS is the acronym we use around the office for Microsoft’s SQL Server Business Intelligence Development Studio.  It’s an invaluable tool for moving data around between, into and out of SQL Server.  It’s extremely powerful and was a major improvement over the old Data Transformation Services bundled with SQL Server 2000.  The problem is, I don’t think it was ever tested by real life users.

Let’s just start with the interface.  The GUI in BIDS is pretty typical of modern Microsoft apps whereby there are multiple floating panels that you can dock anywhere you please.  They’re ok, I only have issues with the pinning when it refuses to auto-hide.  My screen isn’t big enough to have everything open but I would imagine that on a 24″ widescreen pushing 1900+ pixels wide, it would be very functional with most panels always open.  The real problem is in the Control Flow panel.  If you’ve got one lonely little task in that panel, BIDS, for some reason, can’t detect where that task is and have it auto-centered.  Most of the time I’ll open a package and have to scroll around the screen looking for the one task.  But this problem is merely annoying compared to some of the other problems.

One major issue I have is that when you first open a project, BIDS tries to validate every single package in the project.  This can take a very long time, especially if some of the packages rely on connections that aren’t live offline or rely on attached devices.  Those packages will fail validation, pop errors, and waste time - since you may not have been working on those packages anyway.

Another issue I have is with connections in the Connection Manager.  If you rename a connection, and that connection is used in a nested task, chances are pretty good that you’ve now broken that nested task.  BIDS, like most Microsoft products, uses an internal unique ID instead of the names (likely in the name of performance) to actually point to connections.  Unfortunately it doesn’t seem to recurse into all of the tasks to update the ID/names of assigned connections if you change a name - causing hours of frustration as you hunt down why a package that worked before a simple name change won’t work now.

My last complaint, for today, is with the SSIS Import and Export Wizard.  This is the only way to graphically pull or push data from and to your servers.  If you choose to copy a table from one server to another, where the table already exists, you have the option of deleting the existing data.  If you choose to delete existing records, BIDS creates an Execute SQL Task that is supposed to have all of the DELETE statements.  It doesn’t.  What you end up with is a set of GO statements.  That’s it.  One for each table you wanted to overwrite.  It took me three or four tries with primary key violations to realize that nothing was being deleted.  This is consistent and cannot be fixed.  I end up having to do the deletes on my own.  Obviously that’s not a big deal but it’s such a simple bug - did no one try to do one of these in testing?

Ugh.  Any other strange BIDS problems out there?

I’ll be honest, I’m a bit of a bandwagon Jays fan.  If the team is terrible I’m nowhere to be found.  When they’re hot I’ll watch the games and freely chat about them on the street.  Their recent 10 game win streak was enough to get me excited about them this year and, if they can hang on to Burnett, next year too.

The story that I’m clinging to right now is Travis Snider.  This guy started the year in single A ball.  The normal progression for a star would be one level per year but Snider has jumped from single A right through to the majors in the space of a year.  And he looks like a regular out there!

The other thing that’s got me excited is Cito Gaston.  He was the manager back in the World Series days and he seems to have sparked something in the Jays hitters.  There’s also a major difference in how Gaston uses pitchers compared to his predecessor John Gibbons.  I could be wrong but Gaston seems to pull pitchers before they get into too much trouble whereas Gibbons would leave the pitchers out there too long, maybe trying to let them pitch their own way out.  The difference has been enormous in the stats column - the Jays bullpen has the lowest ERA in the majors and they have the possibility of having two starters hit 20 wins!

This is a team to watch next year if they can keep all the key pieces in place.  Zaun and Burnett need to be kept, in my opinion, and I think if they can string together some more wins before the season is out, Toronto may be a place that the players look forward to playing in next year.

This is my favourite email joke.  I’m sure everyone has seen it but I’m posting it here for posterity.  Enjoy.

Notes From An Inexperienced Chili Taster Named FRANK, who was visiting
Texas:

  Recently I was honored to be selected as an outstanding
  Famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a chili
  cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the
  original person called in sick at the last moment, and I
  happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking
  directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was
  assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the
  chili wouldn’t be all that spicy, and besides they told
  me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted.

  Here are the scorecards from the event:

  Chili # 1: Mike’s Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
  JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
  FRANK: Holy smokes, what the hell is this stuff? You could
  remove dried paint from your driveway with it. Took two beers
  to put the flames out. Hope that’s the worst one. These hicks
  are crazy.

  Chili # 2: Arthur’s Afterburner Chili
  JUDGE ONE: Smoky (barbecue?) with a hint of pork. Slight
  Jalapeno tang.
  JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor needs more peppers to be
  taken seriously.
  FRANK: Shit! Keep this away from the children! I’m not sure
  what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave
  off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich
  maneuver. Shoved my way to the front of the beer line.

  Chili # 3: Fred’s Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
  JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more
  beans.
  JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red
  peppers.
  FRANK: This has got to be a joke. Call the EPA; I’ve located a
  uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano.
  Everyone knows the routine by now and got out of my way so I
  could make it to the beer wagon. Barmaid pounded me on the
  back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.

  Chili # 4: Bubba’s Black Magic
  JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice.  Disappointing.
  JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
  fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
  FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
  unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with
  fresh refills to save me the run.

  Chili # 5: Linda’s Legal Lip Remover
  JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
  adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
  JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato.
  Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
  FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can’t focus my eyes. I farted
  and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant
  seemed hurt when I told her that her chili had given me brain
  damage. Sally saved my tongue by pouring beer directly on it.
  Sort of irritates me that one of the other judges asked me to
  stop screaming.

  Chili # 6: Vera’s Very Vegetarian Variety
  JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance
  of spice and peppers.
  JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
  garlic. Superb.
  FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous
  flames No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Sally.

  Chili # 7: Susan’s Screaming Sensation Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned
  peppers.
  JUDGE TWO: Very Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef threw in canned
  chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried
  about Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress.
  FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth and pull the pin,
  and I wouldn’t feel it. I’ve lost the sight in one eye, and the
  world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My clothes are
  covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth at
  some point. Thank God! At autopsy they’ll know what killed me.
  Have decided to stop breathing, too painful, not getting any
  oxygen anyway.

  Chili # 8: Helen’s Mount Saint Chili
  JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili, safe
  for all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
  JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither
  mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge
  Number 3 fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
  FRANK: ——- (editor’s note: Judge #3 was unable to report)

Sing those words to the tune of Marcha Toreador from Carmen and you won’t be able to get it out of your head.  (If you’re thinking, what the hell is a Marcha Treador, search for it on YouTube and you’ll recognize the tune right away.)  It’s a little ditty that my buddy, Adam, sings when he wants to annoy me.  It annoys me because it’s so catchy I’ll end up singing it all day.

It’s funny how certain tunes will stick in your head while others seem to pass right through.  Another tune that is impossible to exercise from memory is the theme to Robot Chicken (”bock bock bock, bock bock bock, bock bock bocka bocka bock bock bock”).  Once you hear it you end up repeating it until you’re mad at yourself for singing it yet again.

That’s the kind of impact you just can’t make visually.  Sometimes a pleasing visual memory can be triggered but it doesn’t replay over and over throughout the day.  It’s a wonder that more websites don’t use sound to try to brand themselves.  But then again, I guess you don’t want the sound of two guys imitating chickens blaring over your speakers at the office - might get you fired.  Now get back to work.

It seems that every generation has their own “where were you when _____ happened” event.  For my dad it was John F. Kennedy being shot.  Prior to that it may have been the sneak attack on Pearl Harbor.  For my generation it is definitely the attacks on the World Trade Center in New York.  (OJ in the white Bronco and Princess Diana both register but neither had nearly the impact on my life.)

I find it so interesting to hear other peoples’ stories of where they were and what they did so here’s mine.

On September 11, 2001 I was working at Atomic Energy of Canada Limited in Mississauga.  I was listening to Howard Stern on my commute to Toronto from Belleville when he started talking about a plane crashing into the WTC tower.  In my mind it was a little two or four seater and an interesting news story but when Howard, all of a sudden, started going crazy about a second plane crashing into the other tower I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  I was an avid Stern fan at the time so it took me a while to realize that he was serious, especially since no one on any other radio station was saying anything about the crashes.  When I realized it was serious and that these weren’t accidents it actually made me angry that the other stations were continuing to gleefully play music, either ignorant or in denial of what was going on.  Of course, had they come on and said that terrorist attacks were taking place all over American skies, the chaos may have been worse.

Instead of going to work I drove straight past the office and went to East Side Mario’s (a restaurant/bar) because I knew they’d have televisions (and I was sufficiently late for work that the place would be open).  I was still struck by how little people seemed to be reacting to the attacks.  It wasn’t until the first tower collapsed that people really stopped what they were doing and took notice.

I didn’t ever end up at work that day.  My boss was annoyed but understood.  I spent the day in the company of strangers, worried about my friends in the States, and very confused about the future.  I can’t say the future is any more clear now but I do hold my friends closer.

My heart goes out to all of the families of the victims of the attacks, as well as to anyone else who has lost a loved one too soon.

By the way, I know they’re rebuilding but I think the two lights beaming to the heavens are a moving and striking sight to behold.  You really can’t see them and not stop to take it all in.